7 Habits of
Highly Successful Teens
Habit 4
5. Seek First to Understand, and then to be Understood
Because most people don’t listen very well, one of the great frustrations
in life is that many don’t feel understood? This habit will ensure your teen
learns the most important communication skill there is: active listening.
Why is this habit the key to communication? It’s because the
deepest need of the human heart is to be respected and valued for who they are—a
unique, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-cloned individual. People won’t expose their
soft middles unless they feel genuine love and understanding. Once they feel
it, however, they will tell you more than you may want to hear. People don’t care
how much you know until they know how much you care.
Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. 7 percent of
communication is contained in the words we use. The rest comes from body language
(53 percent) and how we say words, or the tone and feeling reflected in our voice
(40 percent).
Most people are eager to talk and had rather talk than
listen. We have one mouth and two ears. This means we should listen twice as
much as we talk. We actually learn more while listening rather than talking
when we talk. Learn to listen and listen to learn.
Listen, really listen, for understanding,
Seek first to understand then to be understood—LISTEN.
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